2 Steps To Relationship Recovery

We operate through relationships on a daily basis. We have relationships with bosses, coworkers, spouses, and friends, and many times those relationships become strained. I have noticed two things whenever this happens. I begin complaining, and I become defensive. Maybe you experience the same. I believe there are two things you could do to help combat these relationship difficulties.

Stop complaining! Start thanking!
Negativity breeds company. It’s so easy to focus on the problems that you lose sight of what you are doing well. Leaders should definitely be aware of this. Leaders are trained to see problems, brainstorm solutions, activate people, and begin fixing. However, if you are always in fix it mode, then followers begin to feel undervalued, overwhelmed, and hopeless because the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel is bleak at best. Instead, take the time to thank your team, value each of them with words of affirmation, maybe a free lunch, or a paid day off.


Spouses, look beyond what has you ticked off. Think about why you love your mate. Thank your spouse for loving you, taking care of your children, and putting up with all your mistakes. News flash! You’re not perfect! A little extra grace may be required.

What about your friendships? Stop thinking about what has you ticked off. Complaining about it is usually more stress and anxiety for you than them. They may be unaware of a problem.

Less Defense; More Offense
Be proactive in communication. All relationships need communication, and everyone could work on communicating more effectively. I have never been upset when one over communicates. The stress settles in when there is not enough communication.

When you begin communicating be open to feedback. The defensive is to state your case, turn a deaf ear, and be thinking of what you are going to say next before it’s your turn to speak again. That is not communication. Take the offensive approach. Step into the batter’s box, listen/look at what the defense is giving you, and make a proper assessment of what words you should put in play before you speak. If you just go in swinging, then you are out already. You must decrease your pride, speak less, and listen more in order to better communicate problems and recover the relationship.

Are you a leader, spouse, or friend? Are you experiencing deficiency in intimacy in your relationships? What steps will you take to begin the recovery process?

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